Will you listen to this story ?

Hello

I've got this story but I'll try to make it short!

First of all I have rheuma/arthritis. I have it since I got like 1.5 years old. Now I'm 17 for like 2 days so well I got it quite some time.

But due this illness I went to a spechial school with people in wheelchairs. I do not hate these people. But I did not feel like it was a place for me. I even got a friend that's in a wheelchair so don't get me wrong. I just did not feel like I belonged there. I was unhappy. I finished there and went to a other school.
In this one I gained some friends etc. But after 3 years there I had to go to a different. I fell in like in the middle! It was me coming there in the 3th year. Everyone knows each other etc. Cept me...... So well I just went to class slept with my head on the table did not care. Every break I stand alone I actually still do! Then when I was sleeping with my head on the table a girl asked my msn for jokes or so I think. After 4 days she added me. We talked nothing happend. Then we got into a conversation again in msn. It felt right I talked with her. It was nice we got good friends. Later she even said she loved me etc.

Then when I suprised her with valentines day she was not happy! Later I text messaged her with well I'm sorry I maybe went to fast. She did send back she felt guilty. But well we talked on msn etc. But each time I wanted to meet up or something she did not want to. While she went doing things with a gf of her. I know this gf of her been in class with her for 3 years. She also had to go...

But well she said she loved me etc. But whenever I asked her if she wants to be my gf. She says stuff like I don't want out friendship to change. But it came down to this she did not know what she wanted. Later I heard she still loves her ex that moved to south africa!
So well once I cycled with her to school. But she was just playing with her phone. No talk at all all came from my side.
Quite some time had passed and we hadn't do anything yet. While I asked her a lot.....=(


After keeping this 3 months up or 4 maybe. I let contacts die. I still got classes with her though... But I found out a week ago. That she has a new bf. She already goes to his place etc. I guess I was deceived or lied to. I ignore her a lot now. She was no real friend i realise now. I got lied to etc. But I never had a gf yet. And it mostly goes like this.....

What should I do ? I do not want to stay alone.

I can just talk to girls etc say hi if I meet some or see them on my way but nothing ever happens.

And my confidence broke down cause of a depresion I had!
What should I do ?
I still stand alone at school breaks.

Yeah I do understand what you want to tell me. And your right. But I just don't feel confident. My looks etc. But I decided to become a new man since I just turned 17. I'll just set it all straight and I'm gonna go for it tomorrow. No matter what I'll go back to my old strong self. =)

ok, this may seem a lttle harsh but its only an opinion

From wht i read it appears that when this girl said that she loved you, you took it straight to heart. Now alot of girls say i love you, you so sweet what would i do without you ect BUT there are different kinds of love. I love my friends but i love my girlfriend in a different way. Also just because she didnt want you to be her bf doesnt mean she doesnt like you or anything there just isnt any romantic chemstry, also if you were pushy and persistant that would have been a turn off. It is also normal for a girl to still love someone like an ex if they had somthing very special for a very long time (trust me I know) so dont worry about it. unless there is alot missing i think she tried to be a friend to you but you wanted somthing more and didnt leave her a choice, and even if she has a bf it doesnt mean that you cant still be friends. It is up to you to keep an friendship just as much as it is up to her, you cant go jumping out always trying to date her.

now as for you being alone, talk to people and girls without expecting to date them, friends that are girls are good to have and somtime it can turn into somthing more but usselly thats not the case. You cant expect every female friend you have to want to date you, just be yourself and be friendly and you make friends and maybe in a relationship sooner than you think........now this is MY opinion this isnt really forte its doc's but hell be around soon with his information

jackwabbit wrote:

ok, this may seem a lttle harsh but its only an opinion

From wht i read it appears that when this girl said that she loved you, you took it straight to heart. Now alot of girls say i love you, you so sweet what would i do without you ect BUT there are different kinds of love. I love my friends but i love my girlfriend in a different way. Also just because she didnt want you to be her bf doesnt mean she doesnt like you or anything there just isnt any romantic chemstry, also if you were pushy and persistant that would have been a turn off. It is also normal for a girl to still love someone like an ex if they had somthing very special for a very long time (trust me I know) so dont worry about it. unless there is alot missing i think she tried to be a friend to you but you wanted somthing more and didnt leave her a choice, and even if she has a bf it doesnt mean that you cant still be friends. It is up to you to keep an friendship just as much as it is up to her, you cant go jumping out always trying to date her.

now as for you being alone, talk to people and girls without expecting to date them, friends that are girls are good to have and somtime it can turn into somthing more but usselly thats not the case. You cant expect every female friend you have to want to date you, just be yourself and be friendly and you make friends and maybe in a relationship sooner than you think........now this is MY opinion this isnt really forte its doc's but hell be around soon with his information

I do now all that. But I was not pushy at all. I asked like 2 times. If she wanted to do something. Then I said well whenever you wanna do something let me know. But well with that said. I once said I had to buy shoes tomorrow. She asked if she could come allong. And well I said ok sure when ? Then it took like 3 weeks and we where at the point of going the next day. I said ok let me know if you go. So well that day. She did not say a thing. So well I decided to ask. And when I did she looked to her gf and asked what to do... She said they where going to sun... later when i was buying my shoes it rained muhaha.

But it is not that I was pushy. I think she was using me!

And I do not expect anyone to date me. I just wanted to meet some friend but I never get to it. No confidence... But well it probably seems like I'm defending mysle.f But I wanna tell you all I typed was a short story. I ofcourse can't put all detail in it. I do not take it as offence either. Nor do I wish to talk my actions ok. But just to get a better point of view, =)

I think you two could stay as friends but just leave it as that as she does have a boyfriend now. Everyone thinks from time to time wandering if they will be alone forever its human nature.
Take the confidence to go up and talk to people and hold a conversation with them, there respect for you will then increase and you can take things from there.

Best of luck mate.

Hmm thanks for the advice. But I think going friends is useless. I let the contact die and in classes I try my best to stay away from her. She kinda used me or at least abused my feelings. And love makes blind I guess. If I look at her now. I am also kinda happy for it. She is a bit sluty. Maybe not with full intent.

And I think I should meet new people that's for the best. But I think for me posting this topic here. I think I just wanted to get this story out of me. It dragged me down. I just wanted to talk about it deep inside I think.