me and my girlfriend has lived together for about a month.
overall i feel its bin going well except for the fact that i saw a msg she had sendt a friend about an ex on facebook after we had bin a couple for about a month telling her friend that she thought that he was something like "the one".
that hurt like hell and somehow it ended up me being the bad guy and me saying im sorry and her just sitting there and nodding.
and as ive previously stated in other posts i dont exactly trust ppl easily so ive bin sneaking peeks on her phone and today her diary.
i know how incredably wrong that is but she refuses to talk to me about her problems and as i just said she still thought her ex was the one after we had gotten together so trust is almost non existent atm.
anyhoo she wrote in her diary that she had started noticing negative things about me and complained about me wondering why the hell she wanted to spend money on the flood vitcims in pakhistan when all she has to say about humanity is "we should kill off half the ppl on the earth". to me that just seems like a retarded thing to do. and especially sense she asked me for my money to do it when i frankly dont give a poo about them(yeah its mean but the world is a horrible place).
but the really important thing i wanted to talk about was the fact that checking the internett history ive seen that shes paid the ex i mentioned a few facebook visits. and shes always on diff chat sites and when ever she leaves the appartment and bring her phone shes out for a minimum of an hour. she usually just leaves her phone. she never ever brings it anywhere really. so now that walking the dog no longer takes less than an hour and she has her phone with her... well i think shes talking to him again. and if she is it wont end well. i fear that i could get violent.... or even worse....mentally abusive. i have a unique abillity to destroy ppl mentally if i just get to know them. and i know her better than she knows her self. to top it off she has a very very very fragile mind and i know exactly how to break it to the point of suicide.... i hate me and i dont trust her. i wish id just get hit by a truck so i didnt have to live in this poo hole of a world