Trying to break the barrier

I'm kind of in a rough situation here:

A few months ago a girl, who I thought liked me because she gave all the signs of us getting together, said she would never date me. EVER. So now I haven't talked to a woman since then, problem is that I feel like I shouldn't even try to talk to a woman again because I keep going back to all that time and effort I put into that other girl and it blew up in my face.

I know all girls aren't so spiteful or would do such a thing. I'm finding that I have now put up a barrier between women and myself, and that I shouldn't trust women again. Which sucks because I love women.

So I'm stuck between not having someone and having that trust smashed again.

I'm just intrested in what you guys have to say about it. Thanks.

TimeGem

Well lemme get this straight. You liked a girl and she rejected you and now you are afraid of getting rejected again.

Well, I can tell you that rejection never gets much easier. I was always marveled by those dickmunches in high school who seemed to ask women out and never seemed to be affected by it. They worked on the law of large numbers and never really cared about who said yes or no, they were just looking for a yes.

I can tell you this. And I swear this is true. When I did my "radio show" on blogtalk radio I wanted to talk about this. I know a man who is 33 and a virgin - not by choice. He also, very recently, got to kiss a girl for the first time while sober and he told her this (dumbass)

There is a lot more to this dufus. But basically we make fun of him - NOT because he is a virgin, but because the guy is a 2 out of 10 and he thinks he should be with people way out of his league and he refused to date or respond to the girls that were interested in him.

So, when you say this woman rejected you it is kind of relative. Is she in your league? You have to take a hard honest look at yourself and think about it.

How did you send your signals to this woman and let her know you liked her? That plays a role in how they treat you too. Maybe you have shitty "game." I'm not trying to be harsh as I don't know you and I don't know if you do or do not.

I am being realistic when I say the problem could be with your view and your approach.

Also, the barrier will lift eventually. These are part of growing pains. Now, it doesn't feel like it, but you will get over it. In 20 years, you will hardly remember it.

If you invested as much time as you say you did, and she still turned you down, then you have no reason to like her in the first place. Looks aren't worth much once your finally in a relationship anyways. Don't worry about going for a girl "out of your league" because if you sincerely like a girl...She will always be out of your league in your mind. Anyways, the girl you asked to date you obviously wasn't that much of a character in the first place. All I can say is maybe get to know more girls.When you find ones that have great personalities whether they are "hot" or not. You should ask them out. Even if the relationship doesnt work out for that long, you should be rid of the trust issue. Or, if that doesn't work...Try becoming friends with a girl or two. Then you should be able to work through the trust issues...

Listen man, the feeling of rejection beats the feeling of "What could have been" any day.
If you see a girl you're interested in, it's worth it to muster up the courage to go talk to her.

cDizzle wrote:

Listen man, the feeling of rejection beats the feeling of "What could have been" any day.
If you see a girl you're interested in, it's worth it to muster up the courage to go talk to her.

this.

even after my long bumm thread i just wrote, I'm far happier i did it, and got hurt, then sat here wondering..

TFaith wrote:

cDizzle wrote:

Listen man, the feeling of rejection beats the feeling of "What could have been" any day.
If you see a girl you're interested in, it's worth it to muster up the courage to go talk to her.

this.

even after my long bumm thread i just wrote, I'm far happier i did it, and got hurt, then sat here wondering..

I agree, I ask this one girl out, it eats me every day. She is out of my league tho.

Also I read your long thread, not a good thing there man.

thegaminggoose wrote:

Well lemme get this straight. You liked a girl and she rejected you and now you are afraid of getting rejected again.

Well, I can tell you that rejection never gets much easier. I was always marveled by those dickmunches in high school who seemed to ask women out and never seemed to be affected by it. They worked on the law of large numbers and never really cared about who said yes or no, they were just looking for a yes.

I can tell you this. And I swear this is true. When I did my "radio show" on blogtalk radio I wanted to talk about this. I know a man who is 33 and a virgin - not by choice. He also, very recently, got to kiss a girl for the first time while sober and he told her this (dumbass)

There is a lot more to this dufus. But basically we make fun of him - NOT because he is a virgin, but because the guy is a 2 out of 10 and he thinks he should be with people way out of his league and he refused to date or respond to the girls that were interested in him.

So, when you say this woman rejected you it is kind of relative. Is she in your league? You have to take a hard honest look at yourself and think about it.

How did you send your signals to this woman and let her know you liked her? That plays a role in how they treat you too. Maybe you have shitty "game." I'm not trying to be harsh as I don't know you and I don't know if you do or do not.

I am being realistic when I say the problem could be with your view and your approach.

Also, the barrier will lift eventually. These are part of growing pains. Now, it doesn't feel like it, but you will get over it. In 20 years, you will hardly remember it.

dude i take a look at myself and i know that most of the girls are way the hell out of my league...for real i can show u wat i look ike and u would agree

Little_SOUL-1914 wrote:

thegaminggoose wrote:

Well lemme get this straight. You liked a girl and she rejected you and now you are afraid of getting rejected again.

Well, I can tell you that rejection never gets much easier. I was always marveled by those dickmunches in high school who seemed to ask women out and never seemed to be affected by it. They worked on the law of large numbers and never really cared about who said yes or no, they were just looking for a yes.

I can tell you this. And I swear this is true. When I did my "radio show" on blogtalk radio I wanted to talk about this. I know a man who is 33 and a virgin - not by choice. He also, very recently, got to kiss a girl for the first time while sober and he told her this (dumbass)

There is a lot more to this dufus. But basically we make fun of him - NOT because he is a virgin, but because the guy is a 2 out of 10 and he thinks he should be with people way out of his league and he refused to date or respond to the girls that were interested in him.

So, when you say this woman rejected you it is kind of relative. Is she in your league? You have to take a hard honest look at yourself and think about it.

How did you send your signals to this woman and let her know you liked her? That plays a role in how they treat you too. Maybe you have shitty "game." I'm not trying to be harsh as I don't know you and I don't know if you do or do not.

I am being realistic when I say the problem could be with your view and your approach.

Also, the barrier will lift eventually. These are part of growing pains. Now, it doesn't feel like it, but you will get over it. In 20 years, you will hardly remember it.

dude i take a look at myself and i know that most of the girls are way the hell out of my league...for real i can show u wat i look ike and u would agree

There is no such thing as a "Girl out of your league".

Granted there are two types of guys out there. The kind they date, and the kind they marry.

When a woman decides she wants to marry a guy, she won't be looking for Mr. 6 Pack. She will be looking for the guy who will make a good husband and a good Father.

Most of the time, the guys she dated, sorry but they don't fit in that categorie.

Take a good look at me. I'm by no means the hottest piece of man tale out there. However, I have been told by some women, that fit in the 9-10 hottie range, that if they were looking for a husband, I would be in the running.