The world is really dark now.

Being a pessimist, I thought I was prepared for the worst. Guess what, I wasn't.

I had two foster brothers (I will not disclose names) that were severely disabled. Both were unable to speak like we do or move out of bed. One had to be fed through a tube that went into his stomach. The other was blind and had a child's mind.

Most would think it odd that I feel that my brothers were the only perfect people in the world. They were incapable of evil and I loved them even with their conditions. The older one (the first brother I mentioned) was with my family as long as I can remember. When people would insult them, I would tell them to shut up (this was the only situation I was allowed to say "shut up" at elementary school age).

They died.

They died as a result of the indestructible bacteria strain MRSA (a superbug). There was nothing we could do. I was near finished of grade 11 when this happened. This was only last year and they were the first funerals I attended. They died only a week apart.

I am an angry person, but I just grew angrier at the world. I was having thoughts like "The isolation in this hospital is to blame", "Using anti-bacterial soap caused MRSA to become a superbug", but what was worse was when the older brother died and I thought "I'm next". I felt selfish. I was even angry at God.

Now there's no-one that can reach my misanthropic standards. My brothers are now free in Heaven (or whatever you call it) while I am left behind. I am in grief counseling each week, so I am getting help. I just feel that the world is no good anymore. All I have left are my parents and my bass that I use to express my anger in more constructive ways.

I don't mean to insult anyone with the "misanthropic standards" bit, but that's me. I feel some hope that there are people who aren't idiots here, and hopefully talking here can help me through this. Thanks for reading this.

Hello, I am very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I know perfectly how it feels to lose someone that dear to you.

People used to tell me "it's gonna be ok" all the time to me, and I know how annoying it is when people do say that, because you know it's not just going to be ok like that. What I will do is tell you what I did.

I have gathered every single good memory I had of that person and just wrote them down in a special book just for that, and whenever I feel sad about it, I grab that little book and just read about all those memories to be sure I will never forget. It's all you can do really to honor them, never forget them and work towards a better future.

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to see you suffer this much and want you to just live on with your life, especially if you loved them so much.

Indeed, there are some people here who aren't idiots (I hope I'm not one anyway), and I'm always available to talk ... or just listen ...

Thanks. I have been moving on with my life, as I've been focusing on my schoolwork and my musical abilities. They never liked the music I like, but I'm sure that they are proud of me joining a band. Again, thanks for understanding.

Quote :

I just feel that the world is no good anymore.

Have you considered reading St. Augustine's Confessions? It is written by St. Augustine and has been a very strong view of religion since the middle ages. It may open you up, even a little. It has been a long time since I read/ looked at it. But if I remember, you can look at the world in the following way. The world is not evil, there is no such thing as evil. Evil, and the immoral are just when people look at the lowest levels of God. Try looking to the positive, where there is true "goodness" and to look towards the good, and finding the true goodness in your soul will lead you to be happier. This may sound dumb, or like the impossible but it is not. You just have to believe that everything which is bad, everything that someone says which is evil towards your family, is just that persons clouded judgement, they are looking to the lowest form of God.


You may at times think, that if there is a god, why does he allow all the bad. Why isn't everyone perfect? Well, there is balance in the world, as I have said, look towards the higher spectrum of God.

I am sorry if this isn't the correct belief from Augustine, it may have been another philosopher. I am also sorry, if that is worded in a confusing way.

I am very sorry for your loss.

The world sucks, this is a fact most people don't want you to know.

Your job is to make it not suck.

Yes, I now how angry you might be, because I lost a family member few years ago. It was pretty hard, but life goes on. I got over it.
Everything just needs its time. Try to use these emotions to do good stuff instead of damaging your self.

That is a really touching story and I thank you for sharing it.
I usually don't read this much as I have a really short attention span when it comes to reading.

I hope you get alot of good help from all the nice guys here at the forums Good luck!

A very touching story and it is very sad what happened, i hope you manage to get through this bleak time, i myself when i was in Highschool had some rough times with people and friends and i thought is this what the world is really like? and became very skeptical. I then went to a college and the people were nicer and my take on the world got better.
Just give it time, this is a rough period, i myself find my self in a similar situation were it's literally just me and my parents, you just gotta keep going because things will pick up and you will be amazed at how you've gotten through it all and it will make you a stronger person.

I didn't realize that this story would be considered "touching". Thanks for all the kindness and advice. And I realize that the world sucks. I always thought that. Still, I am really thankful that there are still people in the world who care.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going all mushy but this situation calls for it.

I want to say that your brothers are probably in a journey right now, well, that's what i believe in anyway.
This may sound offensive in a way, but whenever you get sad about your brothers, try to do something that will take your mind off of it.
Something you love, it doesn't matter what it is, just do it.
And if the world seems like a bad place, change it, really change it with whatever you got.
Trust me you have the ability to do this. Life can be a fantastic experience if you just try.

at times the world does seem to be a cruel and unusual place, and most of the time it is. I can relate to the anger issues, as I will often blame myself for problems I have no control over and then take my anger out on others when it is completely my fault, atleast you have learned to channel that anger into something creative which is what I also attempt to do from time to time, the fact that you are aware of your problems and are addressing them is probably the best thing you could have done, just keep up the self help and you may soon feel relief. good luck buddy.

Humans our monsters, we're monsters because we are greedy. The world is a beautiful place through the eyes of a free man, but not to a man that's tied down to greed or depression. Make the best of what you got live your life and let your brothers not die in vain but learn from them. No one wants to remember a dead person that only left behind hatred.

Brandon wrote:

Humans our monsters, we're monsters because we are greedy. The world is a beautiful place through the eyes of a free man, but not to a man that's tied down to greed or depression. Make the best of what you got live your life and let your brothers not die in vain but learn from them. No one wants to remember a dead person that only left behind hatred.

man thats deep...