Im distraugt and dont know what to do....

ok guys, i haved been around for awhile but i have a sitution that i need advice on......Last night i got into another fist fight with my father and icant handle it anymore. He came in MY bedroom slum drunk while i was doing nothing worng, he came in and put his hands on me and that is the only way to provoke a fight with me he threw the first punch saying "THIS IS MY HOUSE I PAY THE RENT HERE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT YOU LITTLE PRICK" i didnt do anything to piss him off except told him to shut-up because my Gf was over(thank god i took her home before this happened) when he was on top of me beating me i told mom to call the cops but she wouldnt fought him off me evnen though hes twice my size and i called the cops but after they came i decided not to press charges because it would ruin his life so nothing happened they didnt take him......i need to leave this house but i will need to drop out of school to do it and im so close to finishing and i dont want to leave my mom and sister with that animal...i want him to come after me instead of them but if i do leave im scared what will happen....i told this to tash and she said you do need to get out of the enviroment and her mom said if it ever happened i could stay with them a couple of days, but still......i just....dont now what to do

To help you in the most efficient manner I need to know more.


You asked your mom to call the police however she didn't?

Does he do this to your sister?

How often does he go on this kind of rampage and what causes them? You told him to shut up, is that why or was it because he was just drunk?

Who's tash?

I dont know why my mom didnt call the cops when i told her to i guess she was just in shock or somthing and No he doesnt do this to my sister because i am there if i wasnt that is what im afriad of, and this kind of poo happens enough that im fed up with it this stuff happens at least once a week and nothing provokes him to do what he does he starts with me and then if im calm about it thats when he gets phycial

tash is my girlfriend

I see.

First of all, don't drop out of school. This is just unnecessary and like you said you're really close to completing. I think you need to have a good talk with your father first. If talking with your father doesn't work out then I suggest you talk with your mother and sister.

You may not understand why I'm telling you to talk to him, however I think that's first and foremost. You need to address your problems with your father and tell him to stop. If he doesn't listen you need to talk to your mother and sister about your fathers behaviour. They need to understand that if the situation gets dangerous they need to have a plan. Have you considered talking to your school counselor or consulting any free kids helping service? I deem it necessary for you to have someone professional to talk to. You're emotional spectrum gets wrecked every time your father goes on a rampage. I'm always here to talk to if you'd like.

Tash and her family seem friendly enough, if worse comes to worse I want you to call the cops and stay with them for a few days until the cops can decide whats the best course of action. Avoid a physical confrontation to your best ability, I want you to tell your father that you don't want to fight him and you don't want him to hit you.

you have to press charges against him.
its the only way it will stop.
no one should have to get beaten by there father.
two of my very dear friends got beaten a lot by their step fathers.
and they didnt do anything about it and it only got worse and worse.
no matter what you did or didnt do you do not deserve it.
dont let him keep doing what he is doing.
it may hurt but pressing charges against him is the only way.

DtoX wrote:

you have to press charges against him.
its the only way it will stop.
no one should have to get beaten by there father.
two of my very dear friends got beaten a lot by their step fathers.
and they didnt do anything about it and it only got worse and worse.
no matter what you did or didnt do you do not deserve it.
dont let him keep doing what he is doing.
it may hurt but pressing charges against him is the only way.

The thing is if i did press charges it would do no good and total ruin his life, he already had charges agianst him for this stuff in the past from beating my mother. the only way i got him to stop going after her was to relelease a part of me that im afraid of..i said if he ever touched her agian id kill him( and the way i said it, my mom left and called my friends to haul me out of the house). Everthing has been calm for the last few days, i tried confronting him but hes totally different person when hes drunk..im getting a job now and going to finish high school but i plan on getting out of here this year.

if hes already bin hitting your mother then pressing charges is most definitely the right thing to do.
but you can request that instead of jail time he has to quit drinking see a shrink and join AA.
this problem will not be resolved by leaving it and hoping it will go away.
he has a psychological problem.
so you could actually take the alternate route and ask him to do what i previously stated with out involving the police.
but if he doesnt willingly do this and keep doing it then there is no other alternative.
he needs help. and you may have to go to court to get that help.
if you dont do any of the things ive said this matter will not change.
and it may get worse.
to take an example i picked of the news here in norway.
a man drunk as an irishman on ST.Patties day killed his wife and his two kids with a hammer. then took a double barreled shotgun and blew his brains out.
he also had a history of domestic violence.
that is how bad it could get.
he will not change without help.
he cant change without help. professional.
so for your own sake. do what you have to do.
there is no other way around it

The thing is he wont except professional help. And he doesnt physcally beat me he leaves with more brusies than me but he keeps coming back. i dont think he is going to kill us besides im trying to convince my mom to move out with me when i do move(witch will be in the next 6 months) and take my little sister to. After he loses his family maybe hell learn whats more important, his family or his liquer

he wont.
he has a severe psychological problem.
and i did say he would kill try to kill you. im saying that it is a possibility.
and if he wont accept help then force it on him trough court.
i think he would rather walk around free than be in jail.
they wont be able to monitor if hes assaulting anyone but they can monitor every single drop he drinks of alcohol through a leg brace they can strap to his leg. and also they can keep track of where he is via the GPS built in to it. that is if they where to give him one.
and you dont know if he will just keep hitting you. what will you do if he starts beating your sister? kill him as you said you would if he touched your mother? or as i like to see it. throw away your life for something you can prevent from ever happening?
and dont tell he would do that. cause you dont know what he is capable of.
and if your able to fend him off and hurt him more than he hurts you as you say all probability says that he will move on to the next and weaker one. your sister.
he needs help. nothing else will ever stop this. nothing.
so you only have two choices. leave it as it is and live in hell or press charges and get him some help so that he will change to a better person.
i hope you choose that second option.
i wish you the best.
good luck

Dtox your writing style is so poetic.

And as for the situation, i wish i could help or contribute, nobody who has physical dominance over somebody should use it in any other way but to protect..

Ive never been in your situation since, im one of the bigger built types, but yeah, i'd strongly suggest relying on your school maybe? they have to have places, and protocols in place for the kids to turn to?

TFaith sense i really dont have anything else to say about this subject cause ive said what was needed of me ill jsut say thank you for your comment on my writing style. i havent seen it like that before. but maybe i do have a kind of poetic way of writing when im talking about a serious subject. anyway thank you

jackwabbit wrote:

The thing is he wont except professional help. And he doesnt physcally beat me he leaves with more brusies than me but he keeps coming back. i dont think he is going to kill us besides im trying to convince my mom to move out with me when i do move(witch will be in the next 6 months) and take my little sister to. After he loses his family maybe hell learn whats more important, his family or his liquer

Convincing and time is not an option here. He's dangerous. Perhaps mentally ill. You risk the good health and life of you and your family by staying with him. You may not feel comfortable pressing charges but you must at the very least move you out with your family. Remember you, your mother and anyone in your family is suffering from the same emotional environment, you all need to seek professional help and most of all so does your father.