Ok so, help me out here planet soulspeak!

Ok, so following on from:

https://soulspeak.forumotion.com/anxiety-depression-f16/understanding-anxiety-t916.htm
https://soulspeak.forumotion.com/relationships-f9/jealousy-and-how-to-deal-with-it-t908.htm

We have had a rough bumm week since i went to visit her in sweden, she had some doubts there about some things i had said, they were innocent enough tbh, but, taken wrongly? and she didnt tell me about it, and they grew... then we argued some, i tried to explain and promised i'd try harder, basically we just had a rough week, i lost my job due to lack of hours which ruined our only 'flow' of cash, she had to pick a uni course, her sisters having a baby, she had ear infection, tooth problems, and had to start therapy, all in all hard week, not to mention she was flying to me on monday... and yeah, basically, i woke up this morning, and i was dumped, she said we werent the right fit, and that we should just be friends...

now, im ok with this, but, i love her, i do, and i know this is just.. well, anxiety/stress, i mean, its stressful for ME and i dont suffer it... so god only knows what shes thinkin, it seems like when she looks at 'us' shes only thinking of the last week or so, and the 'bad' bits, like the arguements and not getting on so great... instead of looking at all the fun we have had... i dont know if shes trying to convince herself it was bad or something but yeah...

So, we got to a point where yeah, i dont know im trying to respect her choice i am, but its hard when you know its the wrong one, and it is partially due to her problems... sure im no saint, but im willing to try, and willing to change for her for the better, ya know? put my problems aside, and care for her and hers... i just need that chance, which at the moment, she is in no state to give me.

so, this led to...

faith says:
let me ask you
faith says:
can we go back to being friends. not a 'back to friwends but i dont see us as a couple'
faith says:
back to being friends.. and see what happens.
faith says:
i mean
faith says:
if you have this 'we dont fit' in your head, you wont even be willing to give me a chance, if you HAD feelings you'd battle them down etc..
faith says:
im saying, fresh start.. get to know me again.. let me get the chance to know you again.. to just be friends a while..
faith says:
im not saying it will end up as more..
faith says:
im saying give me that open chance.. without the negative thing, without this 'we dont fit' which can always change. the pieces can always reshape.
M says:
Ok Im up for that
M says:
If there isnt any pressure
faith says:
what im saying is, be my friend, talk to me, allow me to change for the better, i want to be a better person, and i'd like you to help.. and if in that we can find each other again. great.. if not, then we can both walk away happier people
M says:
deal



SO, thats where im at, now, im not gonna manipulate her or anything, i really do wanna work on that, as i said, i really DO care about her, but i KNOW she cares about me, and she is letting her problems overwhelm her to the point where it seems like im the enemy.. and after this hard week, me being gone will somehow make thigns better?

How do i be her friend, and mean it... but still get her back... i know it sounds manipulative, but i really DONT want that, i just, i know we ARE good for each other, we are great together irl, we just dont do the online missing each other thing very well, we were FINE before we met up irl... fine irl for the most part, its just since i left sweden and came home...

(i was gonna move out in 2 months, so, no worries on that front..) I j ust need advice, i want to be her friend, but, i want her to realise that shes made a bad call, and we DO fit.

anyone... could really use the 2c here... and im sure your gonna say dont force it etc, and i know i wont, im not going to pressure her, but.. i dont know how to explain it... but when you know that... her problems are making this.. 10x worse? and not even giving me a fighting chance? how can i help that..

If she's not feeling it. She's not feeling it. THere is nothing you can do. There will always be people in your life that make the wrong choice and you can do nothing about it. Its just how life is. It sucks that you can't do anything but the sooner you move on the better it will be for the both of you

well, after a long talk with her brother (my best mate) who has helped her with her anxiety for years and years, he reckons that the best bet is to chill out for a while, be friends, but, let her know how i feel without pressure, i.e say i love you when we say goodnight etc... since, she knows i do anyway? if that makes sense..

honestly pal, i'd get it, if she was cool, calm and poo, but the fact that i know shes had a hugely stressing week, not sure shes ever had as much on her shoulders as that before... ya know?

i guess. Its probably best that you give her some room right now, like her bro suggested. With all that has happened this week she just may not want to deal with a relationship that is not going the smoothest. Maybe after everything has settled down and she is back to her normal self, you guys can start to work on the relationship again