Haunted by the pasT

when i was 17 my mother was shot for her purse in a back alley and my dad is a prison inmate so he never was around and noone else seemed to care so i felt like atlas for the longest time i was 17 and working at a small transmission shop and i dropped out to try to pay the bills i also tried to keep my lil sis Zoe up to date on her fashion crazes (pierceing) and what not and she used to bring these boys to the duplex we lived in thanx to my moms friend Maxi and there was one that reminded me so much of the guy who shot mom like he acted and looked like the guy i lost it .....and i jumped on him i beat him i didnt know what i was doing but i hit repeatedly until Maxi came out side and pulled me off of him max is a big guy i still havent forgiven myself for it by the time i was dont i couldnt pick up my hands to save my life hes a 22 year old janitor in an elementry school and he cant remember anything 2 weeks berfor that day so i feel a little better telling someone anyone

Life can be tough man. i mean i cant say that ive been what youve been through. but you have to realize that you have a future to. if you dwell on the past too much it can affect your future. and you fought to hard to give up now. what youve been doing is great and i dont think a lot of people could have gone through it. they would have just givin up.you have the chance to prove to everyone what your made of. what your mom has tought you. and i know that everything will work out. as for the janitor thing. you couldnt help it. thats just adrenaline building up. i mean i would feel bad too. but what can you do about it. its in the past man. dont worry about it too much now. just worry about taking care of your family and dont forget yourself. Stay Strong

Kirby

well man you have to realize that the past does haunt me i cant sleep feb 12 is the worst day i can never sleep it only been a year so its still hard if it werent for maxi idk where id be

I can understand what your saying, my dad is in prison for life because of his anger(true italian XD) he was never around i grew up knowing i was a weak skinny "whte kid" i grew up poor and knowing i was a mistake all my gfs took advantage of my care and cheated then the love of my life is gone taken by her own hand due to depression bipolar and an argument we had i grew up with a chip on my shoulder i was always fighting for stupid things ive snaped my finger in half in a fight against a kids head he was knocked out around my junior yr in HS i turned things around and after and after HS life knocked me to my knees taking my friend and my gf(friend deid of heart failure) and gf of suicide but i keep going its hard to keep anger under control bowling games and working out really helps, but bro i understand what you mean the guy just gave you those painful memories and you let all that inner pain and anger out

i msorry about your parents man but all i can say is keep your head up and never give up it will all be ok

Wow... reading your story makes my problems seems small and irrelevant. I hope you can imprison that painful thoughts in a caged corner, deep inside your mind to keep them in to cotroll. Try to focus on the brighter moments in life, not only for yourself, but everyone around you!

damn man.... definetly a rough situation... ive never had to many problems with anger.. like fire, it is a dangerous servent and a fearful master... so be careful... my suggestions would be martial arts and other forms of expression.. martial arts are nice, they have great teachers and students it helps me get over my problems personally, because im apart of something bigger then myself, as we all are... other forms of expression might help you, whatever you enjoy.. good luck