How do you shut yourself down?

Well, to anyone who has read my random crap before... this is kind of a followup.

I seperated from the girl i'd been seeing with anxiety, or more, she broke up with me. then 1 day later after some talking, she wanted to get back together again... and still came to visit me (sweden > england) for a week the day later.

SO, we SEEM to be back on track, im feeling good about the way things are going, but, its very very hard for me, to shut down, and hmm, well, she is trying to 'find herself' and what she wants to DO in life, now, she hasnt really said if that involves me, or not! but im trying to be patient, and give her some time etc, but, im feelin a little hmm, its not easy to explain but when we got back together, we promised to be more understanding to one another etc, promised to try harder etc, and yeah, i'd be lying if i said it felt like 50/50, i GET that she is distant etc atm, cos of her stress, and all she has to think about, but, is it fair to be ignoring the promises she made to me? leaving me in the dark?

tbh, im not even sure what input im expecting to this, i think i just needed a place to say how i felt..

I love her, and i DO see a future with her, and i hope she does with me, so now i just have to give her the time to find herself, i get that, but yeah, i think, getting from A>B and cutting me out, when in theory she wants me at the end, is a little wasting?

p.s sorry ive not been posting as much as i should on other threads, been busy for the above reasons

I think the reason she has not told you if you are in her future is because she is not 100% set on you.


Now depending on your age and the position of your relationship, that would be perfectly normal. I would also say that it would be to much to say that you should be expecting an "lets just be friends" or "lets see other people".


Not saying that will happen. I am not saying that at all. I just wouldn't be totally shocked if thats what happened

well after alot of talking etc, it seems thats the route we are taking...

My personal problem is, i invest too much in relationships, i put my own life on hold, for others etc.. which isnt good, cos when things go bad, it turns my world upside down.. basically, i should make sure somebody is the one before i open up fully otherwise i just get hurt over and over again like this..

ah well, live and learn.

that is a problem that not a lot of people have, but it happens quite often.


Your Girlfriend need to be part of your life, not your life. You need to do things for yourself and if you are a nice guy or want to keep your girlfriend then you include her in the things you are doing.

Any boyfriend/girlfriend need to be an asset you life. Once you make them your life and once everything revolves around them, its not going to last very long. Either she is going to take advantage of you or else you are going to seem to clingy and needy.



All of that what not directed at you. It was just in general.