trying so hard to deal with life

ive been with this girl for 4yrs now (1/6/05) n she got this job last summer her first n she started acting weird with me....i live in p.a n she lives in n.j so everytime i visited her she would come out early from work at around 10:25pm but when im in my house in p.a she would come out late like 11pm or even 11:20 sometimes so i would start assuming that she was up to something. shes always going out to her girls house at night or i would come home early from work n call her but she wouldnt be there. but when im suppost to get home at around 1030 she would get home at around what 1020 so she would think she was there the whole day but since they let me come out early i would know she wasnt n she would then tell me these weird stories. ive always put her first over my family i lost everyone for her and now its hard cause ive made her my life i cant see myself without her. when we talk i can hear it in her voice that she can live wihtout me that she can move on with her life. hopefully shes being real with everything she tells me cause i really want to stay with her cause i love her more then anythin in this life, but she has to show me that she wants me and she actually sees me in her future too

Love is complicated man. You can't influence it. Its she loves you or not... vice versa.. you love her, try to stick with her, but don't get crazy too, You know I got a girlfriend Really love her but I still meet my friend cauz I love them as much as I love her. and I don't wanna abandon both of them... And she deals with it and if she doesn't accept it then its gonna be over... Currently we are both good and we live day by day.

Good luck with ur situation man.

Still to me it sounds like your a little possessive or rather over caring, tho i can see your point but your risking having her feeling smothered.
And if she gets that your feeling insecure about the relationship, she might even leave you.
4 years is a long time for a relationship but as time goes feelings change.
I mean nothing negative with these comments but its just some things that they might be right, wrong or just a close to.

Hope it goes your way man!

I was in a kindaaaa similar situation, It all comes down to this to make it simple as possible,
1.Insecurity but not without reason I totally understand were your coming from
2. Girls just wanna have fun bro, and she probably is going out with friend maybe even a guy friend but they love attention and you guys live apart from each other so shes gonna want that attention, it doesnt mean shes doing anything bad but having fun and she doesn't want to tell you about it because it sound to me like you would take it as something else was going on or possible do it back to her in spite of her doing it to you even though theres really nothing going on.
3. Dont be so smothering on a girl, just relax when u start acting all crazy and asking questions then she will start distancing yourself from you.
4. Make her want to be with you, just be a cool guy, have fun with her so she doesn't have to go to anyone else to have fun or talk and things like that make her feel like she can count on you for everything



thats for nooooooooo reason

honestly made, im a very protective guy myself, and i get your fears, but, you cant let them rule you, its very likely nothing, and if it is something, then what exactly can you do anyway , i know that might not sound too helpful, but you just need to make sure that it doesnt ruin the time you DO get to spend together ya know?

d00d you are totally in love with her as i can assume.you should go and talk with her about this.and maybe the best solution for your relationship would be to live together.
cause it hard to keep a realtionship when you live so far.but most of all trust your heart mate and you will know exacly what to do.
Good Luck

Have you tried talking with her about how you are feeling? Don't worry about how you come off as long as you stay calm. I know men are suppose to come off as confident and all that, but we aren't robots. We have feelings. I'm not saying cry to her, and I'm not saying cryings is bad.

I am saying talk it out with her. In a calm fashion. Stay calm no matter what is said. Its a puzzle and you've gotta solve it to be happy. Remember Communication is key.

Also Love isn't a 50/50 thing. Its a 100/100 thing... Gotta give it your all and accept people as they are. If you have a problem with a part of that person talk it out with them, but you gotta analyze yourself as well. Is that problem really that important? Will it really drive a wedge in your feelings for them? Is it something you can work out with them? Can you learn to live with it...

Example... My girlfriend sings... She has a amazing voice... But hearing it all the time gets a big harsh... SOOOO For my 20th birthday I got Rockband which is cool seeing as how I'm a avid gamer and she plays games as well. She can sing all she wants. I can't stop myself from giving her tips sometime with her voice. Its nice but not under control.. Thats just me ANYWHO!... She gives me tips also (cause I'm no Sinatra ). We help each other.

So Communication is Key.Remember to analyze yourself and your relationship, before you analyze your partner. All relationships should be 100/100%.

i try so hard to talk to her about my feelings but its hard sometimes to let them out because i feel like shes going to play with them like she did in the pass
or were jus ganna start arguyin alot cause none of us want to be wrong