Jealousy., and how to deal with it?

Ok, so, ive recently started a new relationship (if you check my post history) there was some issues before, and before that and that and that etc.. you get the idea, basically im carrying a laundry list of scars, from being cheated on, up to having some bitch have an abortion and tell me it was a misscarriage etc.. ive been lied to, had things hidden from me etc..

now, i used to be very calm, and laid back, and not giving a poo about things, but now, i am rather jealous, and with this new girl, shes not digging it so much, and i want to go back to being the old me, but im not even sure, how? i mean, will it come with time, with her 'proving' my trust was well placed?

How do you get over all your past scars, and trust somebody completely, i really dont know... the only thing that niggles me about the whole situation is, she has alot of issues of her own, which ive been nothing but supportive over, so im a little grr, that she gets to bring my jealously into question, when i sit there, loving her for her flaws..

any help here guys?

damn bro...well id say try to forget the past and move on....sounds hard and probly will be hard but mightr be worth it.

I don't think what you have is called jealousy. Its just you have past experience and its hard to be able to trust somebody 100% again.


It's hard to forget the past but if you can that would solve most of your problems.

If your main issue is trust and this girl wants to help you, (i hope she knows that you don't trust he a 100% and i hope she knows why), start off by doing small things that can help build up your trust again.

!) See if she will have a night out with just her girlfriends and no guys. that would help build your trust in her going out and still being loyal to you.


The main thing that is going to help you is time. As time goes on and you have good experiences it will will help you mend.

I know its hard, but when you find yourself second guessing something (about her) and basically loosing your faith in the situation, step back and tell your self that it is going to be ok and that this girl is different

thats the 2 kickers... honestly, i have been trying, hard... she still had a go about it..

i DO trust her, i really did, it was growing, alot. this whole thing just feels like a hueg setback though..

I mean, i confess to her that i got trust issues/jealousy going on, and from that point on, she takes things that are innocent to be.. jealousy. and takes things i say out of context etc.. now granted, i couldve been smarter but, i shouldnt have to watch every word i say...

so yeah, kinda confused as hell right now, cos, how can i even begin to work on things, if shes gonna construe everything i do/say however she wants, without at least checking with me, what i mean by things..

mate im exactily the same way
i got jealous with one girl when we were dating she didnt like it much ether

there really isn't much you can do . . it just happens
it show you care tho

best thing to do is try to ignor it and know as little about there social life as possible lol
but thats very hard to do

im a sufferer of jealousy to, i control it but i dont let my girlfriend know everthing i dont approve of. She never gave me a reason not to trust her, so i do

just think of it like this


she is dating you, not them.

when she is talking to them, she is still thinking of you

if she didn't feel 100% about the situation, she would let you know or you would be able to tell

thelovedoctor wrote:

just think of it like this


she is dating you, not them.

when she is talking to them, she is still thinking of you

if she didn't feel 100% about the situation, she would let you know or you would be able to tell

this is how i feel its just worded better

thats the problem for me though, i dont think she would let me know, she'd be 'afraid' to hurt me or something, or that i'd go and hurt them. so im not sure she would tell me, even though she should..

I do trust her, and tbh, the whole, hiding her life from me thing, for me that would suck, i'd hate it.. tbh, i dont think itll be a problem, i mean hell, if she like, goes out or sth, i'd hope she'd want me with her anyway!

but yeah, we spoke about it, agreed to both me more understanding etc.. so yeah, see what happens i spose

You said that she has been through sort of what you have been through. Right?. So she should no how to deal with it and she should understand what you are going through.