1 Way Friends.

Anyone here ever feel like they have a bunch of 1
way friends. What I mean by that is you have friends that are not to giving and
or everything is on there terms. I have a bunch of friends and a lot of them
have come to me about problems and I give them my opinion and try to help them
out. Most of the time they feel great after getting there issues out and then
they try to put into motion what I told them I think they should do. Here's the
problem. If my advice doesn’t work out ... this comes back on me, they get mad,
and usually this comes out during drinking a couple beers.


I have 1 friend who I
am pretty open with and well now he thinks that I slept with his x from 4 years
ago , I have asked for any form of proof or were he is getting this from but he
neglects to tell me except for I told him I bought her a beer at the bar that
we go 2. Now I am totally against all that stuff. I would never do that to a
friend. I wouldn’t never sleep with a friends x either. I value my friends and
respect them in that way. I know I didn’t sleep with her. I remember buying her
a drink. I was at the bar and she came up to order a drink and it was all awkward
cause I haven't seen her since they broke up and I didn’t know to well. I was
being nice ... I talked to her for like 2 minutes and then I went back to my friends
that I was with that were it. Now my friend has had some things happen that
constantly rack his brain over and over. He was in a car accident a couple
years back which bruised his brain. He still functions quite normally but there
is something’s I feel that has changed since then. I don’t ask about it because
it’s not my business. Now the girl gave him an STD as well, In are heated
argument I even offered to show him that I don’t have the STD, that’s how bad I
want him to know that I didn’t do what he says, he’s being impossible.

I have a lot of friends that are impossible. I’ve only ever tried to
help my friends... but as of late I am the bad guy for some reason. I have
another friend who I used to live with, and he just found out his mom has
cancer and only about a year to live. I have known his family well and they
have always embraced me. He's having a hard time dealing with it and it’s
totally understandable. He talks to me about it , But not until recently it
feels like he’s using this, and I don’t mean to sound mean about it, but
recently we went out for some drinks.. And everyone we met this came out right
away, now I understand he needs to get it out and that’s fine but it was over bearing
after awhile. It seem to happen when attention was lacking, I am sure that’s
just what he needs but the kind he is looking for no one gives it to him. .. I can’t
find what to give to him either. I’ve told him I don’t want to say things will
get better and he knows that considering that’s what everyone else has been
saying to him. It’s so confusing. It takes a lot out of me the older I get
being an open ear to friends... now I am just getting mad because I always get pooped
on for trying to help. it seems as thou if u say the typical things you wont
get pooped on, is that all people want to hear is typical answers.. I don’t
know. I got to get back to work... to... ive been off work forever and I think
thats eating at me as well, im just not motivated, ive lived with my x for
almost a year we broke up a couple weeks after we moved in, now shes moving
with her friend so im moving in a friend and dealing with all this has just
made me want to sleeeeep all dayy, the only thing I enjoy is video games.. It’s
the only outlet. Anyway Anyone? I know I am a mess haha.[strike]

I tried reading it ... but it just isn't working
Could you please edit your post and get some paragraphs in there? I just keep losing track of where I was and the entire thing is really confusing like that

Psoewish wrote:

I tried reading it ... but it just isn't working
Could you please edit your post and get some paragraphs in there? I just keep losing track of where I was and the entire thing is really confusing like that

haha, yeah sorry,

It's okay, thanks for editing it .. now I could read it!

I unfortunately know exactly what you're talking about. I used to have lots of 1-way friends as well. And they would all just get mad at me if my suggestion wouldn't work out or I didn't say the "standard things" when stuff went back. But you know, that's kind of their problem. If they feel like getting mad at you for just being who you are, then it's their loss. Someday you will find friends who can just appreciate you, and are mature enough to realize that you're trying your best to help them.

There's a lot you can do about it, but in the end I don't think you should do something about it. It's obvious who's at fault here, you're generally being a really nice person and that's a good thing. You just need to be yourself and believe in yourself. Even if things don't work out all the time like you want them to, at least you'll feel good.

I tried changing for other people, and sure enough things got better with my "friends" but in the and I felt like crap. I wasn't able to be myself with my friends, and the point of friends is that you CAN be yourself around them!

Psoewish wrote:

It's okay, thanks for editing it .. now I could read it!

I unfortunately know exactly what you're talking about. I used to have lots of 1-way friends as well. And they would all just get mad at me if my suggestion wouldn't work out or I didn't say the "standard things" when stuff went back. But you know, that's kind of their problem. If they feel like getting mad at you for just being who you are, then it's their loss. Someday you will find friends who can just appreciate you, and are mature enough to realize that you're trying your best to help them.

There's a lot you can do about it, but in the end I don't think you should do something about it. It's obvious who's at fault here, you're generally being a really nice person and that's a good thing. You just need to be yourself and believe in yourself. Even if things don't work out all the time like you want them to, at least you'll feel good.

I tried changing for other people, and sure enough things got better with my "friends" but in the and I felt like crap. I wasn't able to be myself with my friends, and the point of friends is that you CAN be yourself around them!

Good Point, I do feel like crap, and im not even changing myself, I kinda feel like i need new friends. I dunno, its been this way for along time, im just sick of it. I need to start doing things for myself more in a non selfish but still inspiring way.

This sore is a big one. But I red it.
Ammm... After you told that friend about the STD. He still did not believe you?

Corefee wrote:

This sore is a big one. But I red it.
Ammm... After you told that friend about the STD. He still did not believe you?

He got them from her and I siad that I would show him my thing even to prove that I didnt. cuzz id have the std but I didnt so i dont.

Have you ever considered moving somewhere? It doesnt have to be far or anything, but just somewhere where you would meet new people. Everyone has been a 1 way friend at some point in their life...Sometimes something happens and you need to blame someone for it. We all do it even though it is the wrong thing to do. Sometimes the things can be so bad that after a while you forget the real reason why the event happened, and you focus on disliking the person you blamed it on. It happens to everyone, so all I can say is to get new friends.

Wow, I have a bunch of one way friend's. But only 2 good one's that I have know for a good 6 years.
Moving would be your best bet. Starting over with everything would feel amazing.
But
Then all the old memories you have will hunt you from time to time.
and..
The need of money.. to move..

If you think you are stable enough try moving.
Say good bye to all your 1 way friend's and start over from scratch.

I know it sounds easier then it looks. It just sounds really good for you to get
away from that. You would feel better.

if you don't want to move? how about a vacation?

I have 1 friend who isnt a 1 way friend, luckily its my girlfriend.

Idd, it sucks alot, Ive always tried to be a good person and a good friend but, i only have a small handful of people i can talk to about things, such is life really, just take pride in the fact that you are the one they go to, kinda a nice feeling when you think about it

Gen__Wolf wrote:

Have you ever considered moving somewhere? It doesnt have to be far or anything, but just somewhere where you would meet new people. Everyone has been a 1 way friend at some point in their life...Sometimes something happens and you need to blame someone for it. We all do it even though it is the wrong thing to do. Sometimes the things can be so bad that after a while you forget the real reason why the event happened, and you focus on disliking the person you blamed it on. It happens to everyone, so all I can say is to get new friends.

Agreed. Im not belaming anyone , Im stating that it feels like its not really worth my time with these people. Im being accused of stuff im not doing. im trying to help em but im done. Thats all.