Love or obsession

Well I suppose the best place to star would be the start, sorry if I prattle on a bit, its one of the few things from my childhood I
Remember clearly so I tend to go into too much detail.

I believe it was the 21st of April 1999; I was 6 at the time. I met a girl named Fran at school during one of the principles hour long rant sessions, whom I started talking to, got along great, but that was the last I saw of her, until school started up on 2000. We were put next to each other in the same class, and we got along great, she is probably to this day the only person I know in real life who found me funny, and the only person at that damned school who didn't hate me. Now if you haven't figured it out yet she was my first crush and the only real friend I had growing up. We were the two smartest in our grade range by a mile, both of us were working two years ahead of our grade, through she was always 1% ahead of me on tests, and through situation required me to act annoyed around family, I couldn't have been happier for her. However, through we stayed in the same class we started seeing each other less, probably due to me changing, I was so embarrassed of how I felt I had difficulty talking to her because I wanted to say something about it and then I’d stall up. Till I was 11 I just sat there wanting to go over and say something but too scared to, then me and dad moved. During the half a year I lived in the new house with dad I couldn't get her out of my mind, and eventually I went to live with my mother for 9 months while dad sorted some poo out, and my mother lived in the same town as I grew up. I went back to being the same cowering in love fool for the next 9 months until I went back to dad, and I've been here, a good 3 hours from where she is, since. I'm 15 now and I haven't seen her in nearly 4 years, yet my feelings are just getting stronger. Anyway what brought this up is im on correspondence school, its like home schooling, and today I got a English essay to do for points in NCEA (National Certificate of educational achievement) and NCEA will get me into university if I get them with excellence. Now the problem is, the required topic is the place you grew up and how it's changed, and I cant focus on it because every time I pick up a pen and start to think about what im going to write she is all I can think about, in six hours of work today I got a page done, for me that is pathetic. I need some opinions here people, thanks.

got to say u got urself on hell of a romantic story going on
have u tried to see her again?

and i think for ur essay right there u have a great building block for

Yeah, we're actually going down in a few weeks to stay at a batch one of dad's friends owns for a few days. And eh, every time I try I just cant go through with it. Scared of rejection and all that.

well ur going to have to man up
but idk take it at ur own pace just dont go to slow
dont loose these chances ull live regreting maybe

if you have an oppertutiy to talk with her and you choose to let it go by dont you dare cry about it its not worth crying about i have been and changed alot if i had to give you alittle advise it is this dont change into somethin you will come to hate l8er cause then she will not see you as you were but as you are

Joshua wrote:

Well I suppose the best place to star would be the start, sorry if I prattle on a bit, its one of the few things from my childhood I
Remember clearly so I tend to go into too much detail.

I believe it was the 21st of April 1999; I was 6 at the time. I met a girl named Fran at school during one of the principles hour long rant sessions, whom I started talking to, got along great, but that was the last I saw of her, until school started up on 2000. We were put next to each other in the same class, and we got along great, she is probably to this day the only person I know in real life who found me funny, and the only person at that damned school who didn't hate me. Now if you haven't figured it out yet she was my first crush and the only real friend I had growing up. We were the two smartest in our grade range by a mile, both of us were working two years ahead of our grade, through she was always 1% ahead of me on tests, and through situation required me to act annoyed around family, I couldn't have been happier for her. However, through we stayed in the same class we started seeing each other less, probably due to me changing, I was so embarrassed of how I felt I had difficulty talking to her because I wanted to say something about it and then I’d stall up. Till I was 11 I just sat there wanting to go over and say something but too scared to, then me and dad moved. During the half a year I lived in the new house with dad I couldn't get her out of my mind, and eventually I went to live with my mother for 9 months while dad sorted some poo out, and my mother lived in the same town as I grew up. I went back to being the same cowering in love fool for the next 9 months until I went back to dad, and I've been here, a good 3 hours from where she is, since. I'm 15 now and I haven't seen her in nearly 4 years, yet my feelings are just getting stronger. Anyway what brought this up is im on correspondence school, its like home schooling, and today I got a English essay to do for points in NCEA (National Certificate of educational achievement) and NCEA will get me into university if I get them with excellence. Now the problem is, the required topic is the place you grew up and how it's changed, and I cant focus on it because every time I pick up a pen and start to think about what im going to write she is all I can think about, in six hours of work today I got a page done, for me that is pathetic. I need some opinions here people, thanks.

Don't let girls interfere with your education. I can NOT stress this enough. I'm going to tell you something because I care.

Almost all of the girls you will see while you are going to school, from age 4-18, you will probably never see again after you're out of highschool.

That is the god honest truth.

Focus on your studies my friend, girls can come later.

Remo wrote:

Don't let girls interfere with your education.

Thanks for the concern mate but you dont need to worry about my education, the only other topics are various sciences and maths and those are all completely fine and i've already covered the points required for NCEA level 1 on them, just finishing off on english, and it'll get done. But thanks for your advice everyone