speech anxiety

every time i start to speak i feel like i have to second guess everything i say
this anxiety irritates me its uncontrollable if i don't think about what i'm going to say
for a long time beforehand the words feel like i'm trying to push a tennis ball out of my mouth
this is even more exasperated because as a teenager my voice cracks highs. every time i try and say something
and i have trouble getting it out i crack a high which makes me feel worse. Its not even like the people i hang out with
care about that they really don't and i have never had an issue with them making fun of me or anything like it
but i feel a little more depressed every time it happens and i already have a family which i don't like to say it but i hate
my brother goes out of his way to irritate me and lie cheat and steal, my dad if he doesn't get his way gets mad at me
last time he said he was going to disown me for not going kayaking with the rest of them. My mom tries not to be mean
but she is handy capped and is in pain and yells a lot my brother makes it worse and i ham left to clean up the mess

not much anyone can do to help but i wanted to get it out
thanks.

Well as long as you think you can't be helped then you can't be...

But if I can offer advice. Spend some time talking to yourself in a mirror. You'll be alone. So no one can judge what you're saying. It may seem odd but talking to yourself may help build confidence. As well as seeing another human figure even if it is your own. Remember to look yourself in the eyes and just converse with yourself. This builds charisma and confidence.

Another method is Automatic Writing.. Not the kind were you're inviting spirites to right for you... But just writing whatever comes to mind. With minimal thought.

Who knows these things may help you, then again they may not, but if you feel you've got a problem then you must either accept it and try to resolve it. Or accept it and live with it. It just depends on your perspective. I'm just offering what little advice I can. I hope it helps.